⬤ We are against immature behavior of devotees towards their parents who are not devotees and also premature renunciation. Let me explain why.
⬤ In our Nitaibhakti Sanga, we don’t make any devotees into brahmacharis or sannyasis from our side. Neither do we welcome the habits of cutting off from, hiding the truth from, being cold to, or lying to one’s parents, even if they are against or absolutely unwilling to understand the importance of practicing and sharing Nitaibhakti initially.
⬤ We believe that the parents also deserve Nitai’s love as much as their children do. Hence we don’t like if the children ignore or give pain to their parents in the name of becoming devotees, just because their parents are not willing to accept the philosophy and practices of Nitaibhakti.
⬤ We all know how Nitai’s love is unorthodox and unique. Only our Lord Doyal Nitai is more partial and favorable to those who don’t want His love. Therefore, parents should not be denied that causeless love of Nitai, which is every soul’s birthright, just because they don’t have faith in Bhakti in the beginning. So if the children becomes Nitaibhaktas before their parents, then they should very patiently assist their parents to also develop their love for Nitai by their tolerant nature, sweet example, and gentle sharing of Nitaibhakti as per the parents’ capacity to accept it.
⬤ The children should never act in ways which forces or pushes their parents to commit offenses against Bhakti and Bhaktas, and thus lose their golden chance to accept or become favorable to Bhakti in this life. Even if it means that the devotee children have to sacrifice or compromise a little in their external situations in Bhakti. And vice versa is also true.
⬤ Jivadoya is the very essence of Namruchi. So how can a devotee child, who has genuine jivadoya, ignore or push away the souls of his or her parents by setting a bad example of becoming cold to them after coming to Bhakti? This is the greatest disservice to the cause of sharing Bhakti. How can such a devotee child not want to spiritually uplift his or her parents first by setting the right example before trying to uplift others in this world, and in this way show gratitude for all they have done from birth?
⬤ Bhakti should make a devotee soft-hearted not hard-hearted, especially to our near and dear ones first, just like Prahlad Maharaj prayed first even for his demoniac father Hiranyakashipu who tried to kill him all the time. Otherwise, why will anyone be attracted to Bhakti, if all it does is to make devotees cold towards their own parents or relatives and lie to them? Charity should begin from our own home. Those devotees who don’t respect and give up on their parents impatiently have a very high probability to disrespect and leave their Guru and Nitai also eventually.
⬤ Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakur himself recommends the grihastha ashram as the safest ashram in Kaliyuga, if one can find or create a sincere, humble, and content partner who has full faith in Nitaibhakti or at least open to develop that faith.
⬤ As Srila Prabhupada said, pure brahmacharya and sannyasa life is only for those who have very sharp spiritual intelligence and mountains of spiritual sukriti and detachment from past lives, along with a very strong internal zeal to share Nitaibhakti to many more new souls 24/7.
⬤ However, profuse sharing of Nitai’s love to the masses is also possible for grihasthas in this age of internet, if they can just make the time for it daily. We believe that if one sincerely wants to practice and share Nitaibhakti, one will very carefully make choices in one’s life which are favorable and not destructive to sharing it, even in the most difficult situations in life.
⬤ Those who can’t find time for sharing Nitaibhakti, can’t give the excuse of their hectic schedule, because they willingly chose that life in the first place. In such a case, even if these souls remain unmarried, they may not be able to practice and share Nitaibhakti steadily due to an inherent lack of sincerity. Where there is a will, one will always find a way. That is true sincerity.
⬤ Nowadays, maya is so all-pervading and impossible to escape from, even for the most sincere devotees. So living a honest devotee life of a grihastha is better than repeatedly struggling and failing to follow even a normal brahmacharya or sannyasa life. At least one will not be pretending, and thus be avoiding duplicity, which is strongly disliked by Lord Gaura Krishna Himself.
⬤ At the same time, we all know how a lot of incompatibility complications may develop in married life. So I and the devotees of Nitaibhakti Sanga may assist in a detached manner, but will never force anyone to get married to a so-and-so person. Ultimately, it is totally an individual choice, because one has to live with one’s partner for a very long time. So better know him or her very very well before marriage. Better to be safe than be sorry.
⬤ Therefore we recommend that before marriage one should thoroughly know each other’s nature for a considerable period of time, maybe even for years, along with being completely honest with one’s future partner about one’s spiritual and material expectations in advance, in order to minimize the possibility of misunderstandings and breakups after marriage. The ideal Vedic system of arranged marriages by parents may be very difficult to follow in these present times, since the nature of the husbands and wives is completely different nowadays compared to the Vedic times.
⬤ Also, if one wants to serve one’s parents but does not want to marry, so that one gets more time for serving one’s parents and practicing and sharing Nitaibhakti, that is also one’s choice. Parents should also be sensitive to their children’s happiness, respect what their devotee children are not willing to do, and let them do only what they are comfortable with. It works both ways. Sharing Nitai’s love with one’s parents, i.e. spiritual service, should be the foundation of all other services one renders to one’s parents, so that one can also give them the eternal benefit of crossing the cycle of birth and death at the end of this very life.